Monday 14 April 2014

The awesomeness of Bristol

For many reasons, most agree that Bristol is a cool city, probably an awesome one. Why is it so awesome for you? Below, there is very unique description of Bristol's awesomeness written by a friend of mine, who has created a website to acknowledge awesome people and things happening in the world (check website). Have fun!


Why is Bristol awesome? That’s not the question you need to be asking. The question you need to be asking is “Why don’t you think Bristol is awesome?” What part of your life have you failed at, not to realise the sheer, incredible, brain boiling amazingness of this city? Well, for those of you who have a geographic deficit where Bristol is concerned, I’m here to fill that cold, dark horrible void that you didn’t know it existed until after you read this article.

Bristol has a place for everyone. If you enjoy getting as baked as a cake with herbal remedies, Stokes Croft will accommodate your hippy and hipster need with aplomb. A shabby looking street that gets incredibly busy on a weekend night with those looking for an alternative night out. If you have the brain cells of a single cell organism and enjoy drinking yourself into a stupor, the night life in Bristol is supposedly very good. It even comes with a host of dodgy kebab shops with non-English speaking staff to accommodate you once you've spent your hard earned cash getting chalk boarded with your liquid drugs.

Perhaps you’re a hard up national front, BNP, EDL fanboy,… There’s a place for you too (other than hell). Well, not the hell that waits for you after you die. But, Hartcliffe and Southmead aren’t far off.

Ethnic minorities need not worry; there are a large number of various cultures floating around, from Somali and Arab communities to the Burgeoning Polish contingent. The Polski Sklep’s never had it so good.

Looking for a bit of culture? Have no fear, just rock up to the Wallace and Gromit headquarters and maybe Gromit will show you round the slave trade routes and FLOATING MUSEUMS! That’s right, every other city has some pathetic Museum to look around in, but not many have the previously sunk SS Great Britain docked in a harbour.

EVEN Jamie Oliver has opened a restaurant here, and everyone knows that Jamie only opens restaurants in cities that achieve the Institute of Super Awesome People  (IOSAP) recognition of awesomeness.

Also, in case you are culturally abandoned or pathetically uneducated, the renowned street artist Banksy is from Bristol. Banksy himself is awesome in his own right considering his continued hidden identity and consistent political expression, but his Bristolian Roots just go to show that awesomeness is intrinsic in the city’s fabric.

Finally, Bristol has been voted as the best place to live in the UK about a gazillion times (twice) by the Sunday Times. This honour doesn't compare to the Official recognition of awesomeness from the Institute of Super Awesome People, but still, it’s not to be sniffed at.

All this, despite the fact that the local dialect is amazingly fowl (that’s not misspelled). You walk into Bristol and you are hit by an agricultural lilt so powerful that it’s enough to make the top button of your dungarees pop out in surprised uneducated horror. You will never feel the true power of an “R” until you spend time in Bristol. However, this does not diminish its awesomeness, instead it multiplies it as there is nothing more awesome than overcoming a crippling disability in the pursuit of success. In city terms, a crippling disability is a pirate/farmer hybrid accent.

Bristol continues to awesomate (resonate with awesomeness) and will continue to sing this tune despite your misgivings and my paper thin arguments!

AWESOME LINKS
IOSAP Institute of Super Awesome People: http://www.iosap.org/
Bristol - The best place to live in the UK: http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/Bristol-named-best-city-Britain-Sunday-Times/story-20843128-detail/story.html

2 comments:

  1. The harbourside makes Bristol awesome...dangling your legs with your mates after work in the sun, beer in hand. Awesome!

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